How to piss off your ex-girlfriend

In college, I dated this girl Amy my freshman year for about eight months. She was this cute 5’6″, tan, long curl blonde hair, blue eyes she squinted when she smiled, average looking with a nice cheerleader body. Her breasts were a nice palm size and they were firm. As for the rest of her body, I never knew. The closest we ever got to having sex was dry humping in our underwear topless. She was a good girl! There was nothing wrong with that. What I found frustrating, was that she liked to tease. Amy enjoyed getting me hard but I never got to finish. It was my own fault I let it go as long as I did. So after arguing about no sex, I broke up with her. Amy was furious because, I had contacted her parents (who actually liked me) and thanked them for their kindness. At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do. Just weeks after breaking up with Amy. Her roommate informed me that she had gotten drunk at a party and gave herself to a random guy just to get over me.

At first, I was upset that she did it with someone else rather than me. The more I thought about the angrier I got. I thought about calling her up and berating her for being such a hypocrite after telling me she wanted to wait. I even thought about fucking one of her friends but honestly that would never happen. It took some time to get over Amy but I eventually did….or at least I thought so.

A couple of years past, I was now in my Junior year of college. I had dated a few other girls, fucked two girls just for sex and was single again. I had been working out alto and put on some muscle since my freshman year. I joined a fitness club that happened to be just a few blocks away from my apartment. When I joined, I got a free health assessment from one of their staff. It just so happened to be Amy! What I did next was down right cruel…

For a moment it didn’t click it was Amy. Her hair was dark brown and fried from over using a curling iron. Instead of curly hair it was more wavy. She had lost some weight and was quite a bit skinnier. She was also very pale compared to how nicely tan she used to be. She even had a name tag on that read Amy. When she spoke, I knew right away it was her. She hadn’t seen me since we broke up and I looked much better physically. My hair was cut shorter too. We shook hands when we met. Amy just looked at me as I just went on asking questions about the various classes they offered. I got on a treadmill and Amy asked me questions about my health. I looked ahead while walking on the treadmill. Her voice cracked but I didn’t give it any mind. After that she took me to various workout equipment and was talking about which muscle groups they worked. I had to argue when she told me the wrong muscle group that was being used on the last pulldown machine. She insisted that she was correct but I quickly pointed out the muscle she was referring to. She just shook her head as I was satisfied proving her wrong. She showed me the racquetball courts as I talked to her like a stranger. When we were walking by the locker room, she threw down her clipboard and said, “Do you not remember me????”

I looked blankly at her and said, “Sorry, have we met??” I said in a clueless innocent voice.

Amy had tears in her eyes and couldn’t believe that I didn’t know her. She pleaded, “We dated our freshman year!!”

I gave her an empty stare, trying not to laugh and said, “Well, I was in a car crash just over a year ago and my doctor said that I might of suffered some memory loss.” I came up with that quickly and it was pure gold.

Amy wiped the tears from her eyes and I could see she was hurt that I didn’t remember her.

I tried to be inquisitive, “How long did we date?” conveying some interest. Amy said around eight months. I continued to play like I was trying to remember. I shook my head and apologized but I didn’t remember her.

Amy looked at me and had a mixture of emotions playing through her eyes. She sighed and crossed her arms. I bent down, retrieving the clip board and handing it to her. in a calm soothing voice, “If we did date, I wish I could remember being with someone as beautiful as you.” I gave a brief smile and then thanked her for the tour. We shook hands and I left.

For weeks, I never saw Amy at the fitness club. I met some of the people who worked there and found a couple of people to workout with. Then one Friday evening, I came in much later than I usually did to workout. The club closed at 9pm and it was 8:10. The parking lot was nearly empty. I walked in and saw Amy behind the counter. I showed her my card and she barely lifted her head. I went to the free weights and started warming up. I was focused on my workout when Amy passed by reminding me what time they closed. I nodded and thanked her as she left to tell the other two people. As it got closer to 9pm, I was running on a treadmill, as I saw the last person besides myself walk out past Amy at the front desk. She was busy doing paperwork but smiled at them. I finished my run with five minutes and no time for a shower. I packed up my bag and approached Amy at the desk. She had her head down and was staring intently. I politely said in a friendly tone, “Do you have any plans tonight?” Her head jerked up and she looked at me questioning my motive. Her hands slammed down and a few papers fell to the ground. I smiled and picked up the papers that fell in front of me.

Amy asked, “What did you mean by that?” she looked ragged and strung out.

I told her I was simply inquiring if she anything fun to do once she got off work. She just stared at me as I slide the papers to her. Then I added that my plans were a shower, maybe watch a movie and then bed. I smiled and after getting no verbal response from Amy. I said have a good night and walked out to my car.

Just before getting into my car, Amy was at the door and she called out to me. “I’ve got nothing planned do you want to do something?” I opened my car door and threw my bag into the paasneger seat. It gave me a second to think. I thanked her for the offer but I needed a shower and just wanted to relax watching a movie. Amy quickly piped up, “That sound like fun to me!” she smiled. I left my car door open and walked back to her at the front door. Then I asked what time she finished up because I did need that shower. We agreed to meet at my place in roughly and hour. That would give Amy enough time to lock up and stop by her apartment to change and me to shower.

Amy never showed up.

My mind was racing and wondered if she knew I was playing her or did something happen to her. She had access to my phone number and address thanks to work. Maybe she just changed her mind. Either way she made me think and I ended up staying up later than I should of. I didn’t got back to the club for a few days.

When I did, Amy was there showing someone around. We exchanged looks and smiled. I was working out with a friend when Amy stopped by and asked if she could talk to me. My friend gave me look, “Go get her, Player!” he smiled and Amy blushed. It was easy to tell because of her pale complexion. Amy quickly stated that she had a change of heart and I told her I totally understood. I went on further, stating that if she had come that it meant she wanted to have sex. I didn’t make a big deal of it but Amy blushed again shocked that I was so open. I told her I needed to get back to my workout but if she was interested in coming over that she had my address. This offended Amy and her smiled faded.

At this point, the game had run its course and I didn’t care what she thought of me.

A few nights later, Amy called me around 11pm. I was in bed and not alone. Since this was before caller id, I answered it. She was coy and asked me what I was doing. I asked if needed something because I was sleeping. The woman next to me popped up and whispered who it was. I covered the mouth piece and explained it was Amy from the health club. Amy heard that and was very interested in who was with me after overhearing me whisper. I told her it was just a friend. In actuality, it was a married woman I met through a chat room. This just happened to be our first time where she spent the night. I was a bit put off by Amy at this point and asked she call me another time. I hung up on her as she was trying to apologize.

The interactions with Amy at the club were more of a nuisance than welcoming. The more I blew her off, the more she tried to get my attention. It was borderline harassment. She called me at odd hours in the evening asking what I was doing. Sometimes, I was with someone and sometimes not. I grew aggravated with her teenage antics. So when she called me at just after midnight, I flatly said to Amy, “Do you want to come over for sex?” She stopped her mindless drivel. I heard her breathing on the other end. Not wanting to wait, I hung up. Another hour later, I heard a faint knock on my door.

Amy gave me a sheepish smile. I didn’t think she would show. I invited her in after checking her very causal look. She wore a sweatshirt and sweatpants. The sweatpants were very tight fitting and showed off her cute little ass. She wore flip flops on her feet. I was wearing just boxers. I didn’t try to hide the tent I was pitching in them. I locked the door behind her and told her I was going to bed. Amy hesitated then followed me. I was already under the sheets trying to hide my excitement. I turned away from her and she quietly slipped in bed.

Once in bed, I turned to face her. She was very nervous. Breathing fast and shallow. Amy was about to say she didn’t know why she was here but I covered her mouth with mine and slid a hand up her sweatshirt. I was happy she wasn’t wearing a bra and groped her tiny firm tits. I moved fast as Amy tried to slow things down. She was very timid touching me. I had to pull down my boxers. Every time she started talking I hushed her or kissed her. Finally after much tossing and turning i was between her legs. Amy was shaking all over. She finally mustered enough courage to ask for me to stop. My tip was just about to penetrate. Amy cried and said she couldn’t do it. I broke character saying, “What!!?? You were able to fuck a guy you hardly knew after we broke up!”

I simply and calmly said, “I really didn’t know you when we were together. ” I gave her details about all the guys she had hooked up afterwards. Amy looked stunned and she stopped crying. She denied it all and asked me how I knew so much..which made her look more guilty. I was upset internally from not having sex but enjoyed Amy’s painful expressions. She hated how I seemed unphased and threw my clock at me. I blocked it away and told her she needed to go. Amy knocked over something’s and broke a few picture frames on her way out she sped off nearly crashing into a telephone.

Days later Amy quit working at the club after I shared what had happened to some of my workout buddies. On occasion, Amy would me nasty voice mails on my recording machine. I never responded and kept them all. Amy was so angry that she later emailed me too. I saved all of them. Eventually I had a restraining order put against her. She ended up losing her first job after college because of it.

My work was done.

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