I should have known what was going on, maybe I did, maybe I chose not to believe it
I know know what happened was wrong. I was a kid though. I needed the attention from somewhere and I wasnt getting it from home. Does that make me a bad person? Ive had these thoughts for a long time, a constant reminder of what happened to me. I dont remember how old I was. I was young, not super young but I know it was right around puberty. I didnt come from a great family. The town we lived in was small, and it was just me and my mom. Well sort of. She was either drunk or non existent most days and the nights usually consisted of me fending for myself while she had different men around. I was used to it. It took several years until they started giving me attention, but thats a different story. This story is about Dr. Vernon Lyles. See he was our town pediatrician, everybody loved Dr Lyles. He was well respected in the community. Anytime he had a recommendation, people listened to him, which was surprising as our town did not have a lot of minority people in it. I remember the morning like it was yesterday. Mom told me to get myself ready, because Mrs. Barbra in the trailer next door was going to be taking me to my Dr.’s Appointment. “Its just a school physical. I think youll be fine.” She said. “You do everything the doctor tells you to do, got it?”
“Yes maam”. I said. I made myself some pop tarts and went to go take a shower, turning on the hot water. I jumped in and it nearly shocked me. We had no hot water. Momma must have forgot to pay the bill again. The cold water drenched my silky blond hair, down to my shoulders and down my piercing small nipples at the time. The water was so cold. I hurried and used shampoo and conditioner as I used my strawberries and cream body wash to clean the rest of my body. I dried off and walked to my room wrapped in my towel. I searched my closet for my favorite black leggings and a plain white t shirt, and grabbed some black cotton panties and got dressed. I had just enough time to braid my hair and the knock on the door came.
I opened it, to the delightful smile of Barbara standing there. “Are you ready to go to the Dr. Kylee?” she said.
I nodded. “Good” she said, “After the doctor well go get some ice cream before I drop you back off.” I vividly remember singing songs with her on the way to the appointment, getting there and just having the time of my life. The only person who cared about me. Well, she didnt have much of a choice but, she was really the only consistent thing I had at the time. We got out of the car and went inside the doctors office. After about 15 minutes of waiting, the nurse came out and said “Kylee Robinson”.
“Here!” I said standing up with barbara following behind.
“Ma’am, unfortunately Dr Lyles has a no visitors policy. With her age now, he wants to respect her privacy with this type of appointment. We have a signed letter from her mom that says its okay”, the nurse says, showing barbara something on a clip board.
I wish she had said no. But she didnt. She looked at it, and then looked at me. “Are you good with that hun?”
I nodded my head. Momma said to listen to the doctor, and if she signed off on their paperwork then it must be fine. The nurse smiled and told barbara we should be out in about an hour. She smiled. “Ill be right here waiting on you Kylee.”
I walked back with the nurse to the room after getting my height and weight checked. “I love your hair kylee. Its so cute. And those blue eyes, my god you must have the boys at school chasing you around.” she said.
“Well thank you, but no. Boys at school dont really pay much attention to me.” I said to her as I shrugged, looking down as I sat up on the table.
“Well thats okay, youll see here in the next couple years that is going to change.” She said as she started to take some vital signs. “Okay Dr. Lyle will be in in just a couple of minutes, here why dont you take a sucker for later” she said, handing me a basket of dum dums.
I searched through the basket looking for my favorite flavor – green apple. And at about the same time I found it, a knock on the door. Dr. Lyles came in with an overpowering presence. “kylee sweetheart. Youre getting so big.” he said. I wasnt sure if that was a complement or not. “I remember last time you were here, you were drawing some pretty cool horse drawings. Do you still like to draw?” he said.
I forgot all about that. I couldnt believe he remembered that. “I didnt thinnk you even noticed that. But yes i still like to draw” I said.
“How could I forget?” He said, and then opened up his notebook and pulled out a drawing. “You left this on the table when you left last time and, It was too good to throw away so I kept it.”
Wow, I thought, he sees all the kids in town, what makes my drawings so special.
“I see you are far ahead on the percentiles for where you should be. Thats amazing. You look like you are doing good. How are things going at home? He asked me.
“Um, theyre good.” I say.
“And your mom? How is she doing.”
“Shes good.” I say.
“Okay, girl of a lot of words I see” He says. “So, im going to have you do a few things for me, sound good?”
I nod my head. “While we do this im going to be writing things down and taking photos okay? So dont be alarmed.” I nod my head again.
“Okay kylee, go ahead and stand up.” I stand up and he has me put both of my hands out to my sides, like making a T with my body. “Good” he says, and snaps a picture.
“Whats the pictures for?” i asked him curiously.
“Great question. The pictures are for documentation. I need to be able to see how you are progressing each appointment, because you are going to be hitting puberty soon and your body is going to be changing fast.”
“Puberty?” I ask him.
“Has your mom not explained what is going to happen here very soon for you?” He said
I shook my head no. “I mean shes told me girls bleed, and that Ill figure it out when it happens.”
He shook his head. “Sit down on the table.” He said.
I sat down and he came to the table and sat next to me, putting his hand on my leg. For the next what felt like 10 minutes, he explained how my body is going to change when it comes to getting my period, how the reproductive system will get my body ready for birth and body hair.
“Ive seen momma shaving her arms and legs so I knew that!” I said to him.
“Thats not the only place that women grow hair kylee.” he said
“Its not?” i asked him.
He shook his head. “No sweetie. Youll grow hair down here as well” and he moved his hand from my thigh up towards my hips and inbetween my legs. “Girls grow hair here on their vaginas as well” he says with his hand rested on the outside of my leggings pressed against my vagina. I remember feeling a slight tingle when he did this. I didnt really think anything of it though. I mean momma always told me never let anybody touch me there but hes the doctor, and Ive seen her let guys touch her there before too.
“Wait, what?” I said. “ive seen momma’s and hers doesnt have any hair. ” I said.
He stood up with a weird smile on his face. “Well some girls like to shave theirs just like they shave their arms and legs. Its a normal thing. Okay go ahead and stand back up for me and this time face away from me.”
I got up and followed directions and faced the wall with him to my back. The sound of the camera clicking and him writing notes down. “Okay, go ahead and touch your toes.” I bent down and touched my toes, again listening to the camera clicks. It almost sounded like he made a satisfying “mmm” sound when I did that but wasnt sure. He came over and ran his hand down my back, checking my spine and hips. “Okay you can stand up.” I stood up and turned to look at him.
“Okay, now I will need you to remove your shirt and leggings, you can leave your panties on for this” he said.
This was the first time I really questioned doing what he asked at first, and I think he could sense my nervousness. “Its okay to be scared.” he said. “But i need to be able to do this for your school and also so we can continue to see how you are progressing. You cant tell anybody else but you seem to be at the top of your class with everything as far as how you are progressing and you are going to be hitting puberty very soon. There is a cream I will need to give you at the end of the appointment, I will have to apply it every time you come in. This will help with some of your advancements.” he said. “I have the forms signed by your mom, its okay to trust me.” he said.
Something about that still felt weird but, he was right. Momma signed the paperwork and everybody trusts him so I can took. I went ahead and removed my leggings and shirt and stood there in my white socks and black panties. “Good” he said. “Now move both of your arms back and try and touch your elbows together behind your back,” he said in which I did. “very good” he said, snapping photos. “I see you are double jointed as well”
“yes” i said. “Im very flexible! I can do the splits”
“no way you cant. Let me see” he said enthusiastically.
I got on the ground and did the splits with no problem. “So effortless. I love it.” He said as he was taking more photos. I stood up. “Okay go ahead and turn around again and bend over.” I followed his orders again, and again I swear i heard him say “mmm” when I did that. This time after taking photos he walked over, standing behind me and felt the sides of my hips. I briefly felt him push against my backside, enough to feel some doctors tool in his pocket. “Very good” he said. “Go ahead and sit on the table”.
I sat on the table and looked ahead. “Now sit up nice and tall for me” he started to feel my shoulders and my arms. He then sat next to me on the table with his body turned to me. He put his flat hand against my chest, caressing both of my breasts. “When you hit puberty, you will notice these start to change. These are going to continue to get bigger, and sometimes different sensations will feel different as well.” He said as he rolled my nipples inbetween his fingertips. “It is a little cold in here isnt it” he said laughing and standing up.
“okay, a few more things to check. go ahead and lay down on your back.” he said. Immediately I did what he asked, laying down as flat as possible. I felt him touch my toes, gripping my legs and working his way up to my hips, checking the bones and muscles. He stopped at my waist and grabbed the sides of my panties. ” I have to remove these for the final checks and for the cream okay?” he said. I nodded. For whatever reason, in that exact moment I was very comfortable. He removed my panties completely, pulling them down my legs and past my feet, and held them in the air for me to see. “Super cute” he said.
I lay there, completely exposed, and hes talking about how cute my panties were. I watched as he turned the panties inside out, inspecting the inside liner, then brought them to his nose and took a big whiff. “They smell perfect.” He says, “like a hint of strawberry”. I smiled.
“Thats the soap I use.” I said.
He then licked the spot that he just smelled and said, ” we do this because at different ages, you have different tastes and smells. Right now I can tell you you are doing a fantastic job cleaning yourself.” he said as he laid the panties down on the table next to me. He then grabbed my legs and lifted them up towards my head, my ankles were both almost touching my ears. With his other hand, he grabbed his camera and started taking photos. “No hair yet down here. Everything looks exactly as it should.” He said.
“Now do you ever check yourself for cysts or anything?” he said as he put my legs back down.
“No”. I said. “Is that something i should be doing?”
“Well as you grow you need to check yourself at least once every day.”
“okay how do I do that?” I said.
“I will show you after I apply the cream on you.” he said as he lifted me up from the table.
“In order for this to work right, I will need you to put this blindfold on and you will stand here at the table. It needs to be applied directly to your vagina and your anus so, what i am going to have you do is lean your chest on the table and reach back with your hands and spread your butt cheeks. Do you think you can do this?” he said. I nodded and got up.
He handed me a blindfold and said “if this stuff gets in your eyes it will burn badly so its safer this way”. I put the blindfold on and turned around, bending over and reaching behind myself to grab my butt cheeks. It was a really weird feeling but the way he made it seem this stuff will help me.
“Perfect. Ill get one more photo and then i will work on getting the cream out. With this cream it sometimes can take up to a minute or so to all come out. “
He then took some more photos and started making noises. I could hear him shaking the container, it sounded like he was shaking it really fast. He was grunting and at one point i felt him grab my hip. I could feel the tip of the container pressed against my small butt hole. I could hear him whispering something, i wasnt sure what it was though. Then I heard him “okay here it com..”
Before he could finish his sentence I felt a warm ooze gush onto my butthole. It really got everywhere. I felt it on my back, on my hole, in my crack, on the cheeks and then it slowly started to drip down to my vagina. “Okay stay like this for a second.” he said as I heard the camera click again.
“here i got some of this extra on my hand, go ahead and stick your tongue out and i can put some on your tongue.” he said.
I stuck my tongue out and he put his hand up to it. Immediately i was hit with an odd, salty, bitter taste. “Youve done so good kylee” he said. “Now this might hurt just a little at first. Im going to show you how to check for cysts.” he took the blindfold off of me, and showed me his pointer finger. ‘You need to use something that can be a lubricant, and then you take your finger and stick it right inside of here.” he said as he took his finger, using his other hand to spread me apart and put his finger right inside of my vagina. The pressure and uncertain feeling i had when he did this . “Youll move your finger inside and out of it, sometimes fast and sometimes slower. Feel all around. Keep doing this until a lot of pressure builds up and you feel like you have to pee, once you feel that, keep going until your body does something amazing. You will know what that is. Understood” he said as he slid his finger out of my body. I nodded.
“Then youll take your finger and do the same back here.” He said as he used his finger on the rest of the cream on his finger and slid it about a quarter of the way inside of my butt hole. I didnt like that nearly as much. “Your fingers are much smaller than mine. But I want you to work on this every day so that way next time you come in I am able to stick more of my finger in there. Do you think you can do this for me?” He said.
Again I nodded. “Good” he said. And he helped me up onto the table again, helping put my panties on. “Go ahead and get dressed, youre all set. I will go ahead and tell them I need to see you again in 2 weeks for the next dosage. Keep a journal. I want you to document all feelings you have and any changes you see. Got it” He said.
“Yes sir” i said as i got my clothes on.
He grabbed my chin and looked at me. “You are going to be special, i just know it. Not everybody gets to get this cream but youre my favorite patient.” He said as he walked me out.
—————————————————-
“So how was your appointment” barbara said as we got buckled in the car.
“It went good. He said everything looked great”
“Well good. Ready to get that ice cream now?” she said.
“No not really. I kind of want to just go home. I have a headache. Maybe another time?” I said
“Sure, no problem, barbara said.
I didnt really have a headache, I wanted to explore that feeling again of doctor lyles checking me for cysts
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