Hello everyone, this is my real story. I am just sharing this to get the burden off my chest. I hope no one judges me. I am a 22-year-old female international student in Canada from Pakistan. I am very career-focused and have always wanted to succeed in my life. I lost my father at the age of 10 and was living with my mother and her brother. My uncle paid all of my and my mother’s expenses—even my tuition fees for my bachelor’s as well. I am from a very conservative and Islamic family and I am also very conservative and a hijabi.
So, this happened last July, when I had summer holidays. My mother and uncle wanted me to come back and marry his son. I know my uncle spent his fortune on me. But my cousin has Down syndrome and he is abnormal. I feel for him but getting married to him is like ruining my life. So, I decided not to go back because I knew my mother would force me to get married. So, as a result, my uncle refused to pay last year’s fee to my university.
It was around 25k CAD, I tried my best to earn it by myself but in 2-3 weeks it’s just impossible. As a result, I couldn’t pay my fee and my university sent a letter to immigration and I got a notice to get my enrollment in 28 days or leave Canada. None of my friends helped me out or they didn’t have that kind of amount.
When around 10 days were left, one of my friends told me she knew a guy who would pay large sums of money if you are virgin and let me sleep with you for a day. I don’t know if I did right but I agreed. He had paid 12-15k in the past. But when he saw my pics he agreed to pay after some negotiations the whole 25k. He mentioned that he had a thing for hijabi girls.
I just do not want to tell in detail. He was around 40 and brown. That night, he took my virginity and used all 3 of my holes. He was rough and he ruined my body. I fell sick for days after that. In the morning, I didn’t have the power to get up from the bed. But more than physically, I am emotionally damaged right now. He abused me for being Muslim or being from Pakistan during sex.
I did pay my fee. Now graduating this summer. I have got a job offer as well from the 2nd largest company in Canada. IDK if I did it right. I feel a lot of guilt. I had 2 options either to marry my cousin or do this for a meaningful career. I can’t tell that to anyone in my circle. But maybe I need some sort of validation. It’s been 10 months I am unable to get over it. I remember exactly all the words that men said during sex. They are imprinted in my head. The words, he used about me just broke me personally. IDK what to do with my life. I lost my family, and my purity just for my career. I am alone here and don’t have family or loved ones. I don’t know what to do with my life now.
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